I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
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