Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Randomize
