youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
