Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Randomize
