No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Boobs speak an international language.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Randomize
