the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
