David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize