do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
where does the pee come out of this thing
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Randomize
