i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
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