are you still at the devil's house?
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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