How'd it feel making her break her religion?
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize