Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Randomize
