Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
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Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
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your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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