i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
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Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
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btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Randomize