he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize