Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I'm like, not good at living.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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