Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
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