Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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