college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Randomize
