you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
