just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
