Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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