dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
