I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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