Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
