he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize