Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Vodka?
Forever.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
