i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
my sisters under your porch take her home
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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