you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
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we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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