that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
What did we do last night that was yellow?
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
