Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
