do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize