Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
they need to just BURY HIM!
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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