ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
