I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Randomize