i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
the raccoons are back...
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