pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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