she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
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You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
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