he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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