Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
