She's JV to your varsity
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
