My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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