So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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