So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
