Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
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I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
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