The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize