The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
