Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
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