You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
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