Christians are straight up FREAKS
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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