party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
