Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
wakey wakey hands off snakey
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
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