what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
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