she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
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