i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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