She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street