i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.