Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.

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  (248): I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness. http://tfl.nu/dved
  Replies (3) Good night (1395) Bad night (799)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.

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  (630): you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car. http://tfl.nu/fzr7
  Replies (18) Good night (5658) Bad night (748)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout

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  (215): I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout http://tfl.nu/qm9m
  Replies (11) Good night (6266) Bad night (525)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it

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  (401): My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it http://tfl.nu/ym1h
  Replies (22) Good night (847) Bad night (4376)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow

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  (404): Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow http://tfl.nu/pzca
  Replies (5) Good night (2830) Bad night (1266)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times

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  (330): I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times http://tfl.nu/jfaf
  Replies (6) Good night (2634) Bad night (917)
• Favorite

  (763): View more from Minnesota

  Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months

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  (763): Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months http://tfl.nu/4w1o
  Replies (3) Good night (1656) Bad night (1160)
• Favorite

  (760): View more from California

  Houston, we have a blender

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  (760): Houston, we have a blender http://tfl.nu/azdt
  Replies (4) Good night (2227) Bad night (657)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way

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  (603): I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way http://tfl.nu/a69v
  Replies (13) Good night (1716) Bad night (816)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.

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  (541): Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock. http://tfl.nu/5hls
  Replies (13) Good night (1567) Bad night (723)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?

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  (631): did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic? http://tfl.nu/zced
  Replies (5) Good night (2065) Bad night (580)
• Favorite

  (479): View more from Arkansas

  Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.

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  (479): Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes. http://tfl.nu/b7x1
  Replies (22) Good night (1443) Bad night (709)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.

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  (615): i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado. http://tfl.nu/rfln
  Replies (11) Good night (1625) Bad night (622)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.

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  (970): Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon. http://tfl.nu/bx6h
  Replies (5) Good night (1803) Bad night (580)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.

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  (440): Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis. http://tfl.nu/4osl
  Replies (4) Good night (753) Bad night (273)

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