I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
These 19 People Are Into The Grossest Sex Fetishes
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
People Weigh In On Whether It’s Okay to Bang Your Roommate
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him