i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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