relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize