honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
