ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Randomize
