Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
