Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
